EXPECTATION – deceit or hope

 

Expectations are one of the archaic attitudes of the past. It is necessary for the survival of mankind, but completely devoid of a predictive understanding of the existential dialectics of life itself. It is impossible to eradicate it, since waiting is the sister of Vera. And Faith is what keeps a person in his life senses. This is that illogical structure that makes the world continue to develop under the influence of the vital energies of nature itself; what drives evolution and development.

Faith will disappear – the future will disappear. So, expectation is the practical side of Faith, that invisible substance that receives symbolic energy through thoughts, plans, illusions, fantasies, dreams. And it will be exactly as long as humanity will be.

After all, when a child hears from his mother “you are my best”, and then this expectation disappears with the first comparison with others, everything becomes on a different, higher level of self-consciousness. And for years we have been looking for confirmation of what my mother was talking about then, in childhood.

But let’s still try to understand this installation, which has become the actual cause of 70% of depressions on Earth.

Expectation is the possibility of the future. What to expect from education: when entering the university, everyone already sees their career, but only 13% work in the first education. Or from the team: coming to a new department, no one is looking for enemies, but often gets conflicts and hostility. Friends swear to each other in eternal friendship, and then they don’t even say hello when they meet. We constantly expect something from loved ones, children and parents, society, the world, God… We call it a sense of duty, affection, responsibility and other important definitions.
All this, sung in songs and shown in films, has already become part of the new mythology of the worldview of relationships and survival, and we have been experiencing these expectations since childhood. Few people at the wedding will say to the newlyweds: “I wish you to go through your every conflict and zone of misunderstanding consciously and in compromise.” No, everyone wants abstract happiness. This is how we constantly fall into the trap of our expectations – it is so convenient and understandable, and there is someone to blame if something is wrong.

And first, let’s try to learn how to designate what to expect from ourselves.

IS IT POSSIBLE?
Let’s play a simple psychological game and try to answer a series of questions:
1. I know what to expect from myself in all cases;
2. I know, I can and I want 10 years ahead;
3. I know when I will get sick from my unfulfilled desires;
4. I know when I will love another person who will compensate for my defects and deficiencies;
5. I know how much money and how I will earn in a crisis;
6. I know how I will raise my children in an infinitely free society, and what they will accuse me of in the end;
7. I know who and when the next person I trust will betray me.

What is your average score on the 100% scale? So, often it is no more than 25%, and 75% is the will of chance, experience, luck and other unpredictable life factors.

We cannot really give an answer what to expect from ourselves, how to build a life now in order to understand what will happen. And all because we are unfamiliar with ourselves and with all the options and possibilities, and we build the future according to ideas from the average experience of our environment. So how can we expect anything from others? We will never get into their picture of the world with our expectations.

This is a complete illusion. While waiting, we waste a lot of energy on our fantastic expectations and, as a result, lose time, energy and opportunities.

So what to do? How not to expect what can destroy you?
And here completely different strategies come to our aid.

1. Give thanks for the truth. For not meeting your expectations. After all, sooner or later it will happen anyway, and this is an invaluable experience that saves a lot of resources.

2. Scrupulously negotiate in the “waiting zone”, creating real conditions, not illusory fantasies. The clearer, the better.

3. Clarify with myself what kind of social role drives my expectations from someone or something.

4. Understand exactly: if there is a zone of expectations, there is also a zone of needs. It is necessary to look for what more or less safe means can satisfy needs.

5. Strange as it sounds, you need to talk about your expectations from each other. Then there is a chance to settle all the bumps and understand what awaits you together.

While waiting, we often just wait, and this is about passivity and means: we do not have control of our life.

Victoria Nazarevich 2020 ©