Philosophy of life / Psychologist's advice
“Doing what I don’t want,” or an agreement with oneself, is one of the main tasks of maturity. And at the same time, having fun is one of the main tasks of wisdom!
Statistically, we have to do more than 69% of the time what we don’t feel like doing. We are taught this from childhood, forming the will and endurance for life, the courage to adequately endure its trials. After thinking about this important phenomenon for a long time, I came to the conclusion: if it can be described in one phrase, then it will be like this – “there is no word“ I don’t want ”, there is a word“ necessary ”. This is a phrase that has accompanied my educational process since childhood.
Reflecting on this “should”, often solving this request as a psychologist, and in my life I have this “should” more than necessary, I decided to explore how people still survived in such violence against themselves, the eternal living of life in systemic sense of duty, duties, important-unnecessary deeds. Where is the secret of survival?
Let’s look at the arguments:
1. Yes, when we do unnecessary but important work, we have an extraordinary feeling of lightness, almost comparable to a drug dose. Therefore, some load themselves in order to receive joy from deliverance later. The need for a dose is growing, and business is growing with it. The effect of emotional exhaustion is inevitable. And what to do? You need to load yourself with tasks, which inevitably lead to a super-goal – I think that’s right. What to do in vain, let it be a super task, since it is still necessary.
2. “I do it to get approval” is one of the most popular reasons for mega-nonsense in life. This is to be good. I will do everything, and everyone will say that I am good. This can be seen in young wives with children who simply kill themselves so that everything is perfect, just to be noticed how well done and smart she is. And, as a rule, everyone takes it for granted and does not notice. Then she bakes another cake when the kids are sleeping, and again they don’t notice. And then what remains is just to get sick to take care of yourself. This psychosomatic protest is very popular. And here one option is to praise yourself. Did something that you didn’t want to – praise as you would like to be appreciated by significant people.
3. Option number three is art therapy. I quickly did what I needed to do, I was inspired in this by what I could. Mechanical work – think, fantasize, sing, pick up a rhyme. Unnecessary communication – gain experience. Extra knowledge – look for analogies. In general, entertain yourself as best you can in this uselessness and in everything you do. And then run to create and create yourself and your own.
In short, any “must” should be used as a precursor to “I want.” If we learn to make the ground for our “I want” out of “need”, we will definitely be happy in any reality of life. Filling any unnecessary deed with your desires is the peak of the art of living. So let’s create our life with our colors of desires.
This is just one open thought on this topic, but you “must” start somewhere.@Victoria Nazarevich 2020
Articles on the history, fundamentals, applications, and various forms of art therapy can be found here.
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