15 exercises to return support, stabilize after stress (for children and adults)

These are very simple effective practices that are useful both for children who have experienced traumatic experiences and for the prevention and healing of our adult “inner child”.

Our children need support more than we can imagine. At any difficult time, a child seeks support in his parents, if the parents themselves are out of balance, he either becomes a “lost”, going into a more childish, more infantile state, or he himself becomes a support for his parents – growing up very quickly.
Both in the first and in the second case, tension and load can be discharged unpredictably in an emotional outburst, in a violent reaction to something insignificant from our point of view.

1. We draw palms

An easy way to safely return “to yourself” is to outline the palms and any games with the palms. A palm print is the first identification of a baby. The first prints of a dirty hand on the wallpaper are the first “I am in the world.” Prints in dough, clay, sand, any grain, prints on paper. Cutting, painting the palm is a feeling and filling the inner territory.

The palm is like a mandala that returns and strengthens the “I”. The palm is the personification of the whole body of the child. And then, his self. When we need to help a child regain the possibility of boundaries and at the same time safe contact, we come up with games for him where the palms of different children could collide, clap, touch each other. Where the fingers could say hello, where they would touch each other with an edge, with the back side, with the entire surface.

2. gingerbread man

Children who have experienced a traumatic experience may not allow touch, be afraid of physical contact. With them, you can and should – draw a “gingerbread man” and paint it. Sometimes with teenagers we outline the contours of the body on the wallpaper, you can buy industrial toys on which you can draw and then wash off the drawing.

3. modeling

It is necessary to sculpt with them – from clay, dough, worse – plastics and plasticine. Modeling transforms tension, relieves clamps, gives a feeling of control (which is important for those who have lost control over the situation, life, reality), modeling is useful for any psychosomatic illnesses.

4. Making dolls

Every time we “create” something – we create – we create, we return ourselves. Thread pupae, simple windings, little people made of foam rubber (or sponges for washing dishes), sculpting pupae and figures from clay dough – all this is a very effective THERAPY.

5. Caring for a doll

In the event that the child began to behave like a child of a younger age (as the subconscious mind tries to return security). If in the hands of the child there is something that is “smaller” than him, something that would be perceived as a cub of a younger age – a doll, a small car, a toy animal, even a ball of thread – the child himself automatically moves to a more adult position.

6. We play tree

Children who have experienced stress often stop feeling the contact of their legs with the ground (lose their support, grounding). It is good to play with them (draw, sculpt, dance) flowers and trees – paying attention to the roots and strong trunk. Sometimes we play “growing giant legs” – imagining that the legs become huge and hold tightly in balance, preventing them from swaying from the wind (the wind is a metaphor for changes, events that we cannot influence), the brighter we imagine (draw , massage) these giant legs, the stronger the effect. It is better to put such children to sleep too, giving support to the legs (for example, put a towel rolled into a roller under your feet).

7. What do you have in your hand?

Traumatized children try to control everything. It is important to talk with them about plans, draw up schedules, make collages of dreams, and so on. It is important to remember that in practice they do not close their eyes for fear of losing control. Many adults are annoyed that they are constantly twirling something in their hands (dropping and breaking). In order to relieve tension in the handles, at the same time loosen control and restore safety – you need to give the children a massage ring, an expander, a bread crumb, balls filled with flour (starch) in their hands.

8. Safe for fears

In order to gently touch the topic of fear, to give the child rest and control over scary memories and dreams: you can build (draw, sculpt, make out of a box) a safe for scary memories. Without naming memories – give a metaphor – just crumple the paper, or take dark sheets of paper, stones, cones and put them in a safe. The key to which will be either the adult or the child himself. Make “dream catchers” out of matches and multi-colored threads or cut out an openwork snowflake – which, like a filter, would absorb scary images, keeping them away from the child.

9. Angel

Paper cut angel.

“If I am faced with an experience in which parents, other adults cannot protect me, I am looking for support in something more than human capabilities.”

For example, the universal symbol is an angel. Which can be named (making it more animated and personal) hang over the crib, on the wall or make a garland of angels.

10. We build houses

The baby seeks refuge in the “inherently safe place” – the uterus. With a child, it is useful to make halabudas, houses, play hide and seek, such a child loves to cover himself with a blanket or sheet. I really like the bodily practice – the “cradle”, which both returns the safety circuit and gives a resource – an adult sits on the floor, hugging the child sitting in front of him by the back (clasping his legs and arms), swaying a little and whispering something warm in his ear.

11. We draw

Any drawing and making of houses returns a sense of boundaries (but very carefully – if it is known that the child’s house was destroyed)

12. joy button

Physical play is the button of joy. To safely return contact with the body. The child, without telling the partner, comes up with a sound (noise-maker song). Thinks of a place on the body – a button that, if touched, would turn on this sound. The partner in the game, gently touching the body, must find this button. Then the child looks for the button that the partner has thought of.

13. Angel wing.

When a child needs to feel safe, move away from a large number of people, feel support – you can put your right hand on your left shoulder. (This is how personal territory is indicated and there is a feeling of touching a friend on the shoulder)

14. Sad tree.

Children often cannot ask for support and explain what is bothering them. If a child is “turned” into a tree that is offended, damaged, sad – and ask what to do for him – put a support-stick (himself), tie a twig (stroke the handle), water (stroke it from top to bottom), put up a fence (become around) – the child will receive the necessary resource.

15. Let’s colorize

Children in a state of anxiety may be afraid to draw something on a “free topic”. They can be given coloring pages with clear “bold” borders. You can draw with them inside a paper plate, draw with non-standard “brushes” – sponges, cotton swabs, toothbrushes. The next step is to drip watercolor paint onto wet paper. Then, trace the dried form, thinking about what this form looks like.