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\nSooner or later, every person has a question, did he do everything he could at this stage of life. And no matter how many years and what successes a person has achieved, he still often feels unfulfilled. When consulting, the psychologist analyzes what hindered the achievement of a particular goal. The same answer dominates: they didn’t guide me, didn’t push me, don’t help me, didn’t support me, didn’t tell me to do it. The psychologist will ask a second question to such an answer, and you are a responsible person. And, of course, he will hear – \u201cyes\u201d, I always do everything on time, I do everything with high quality and carefully, very responsibly. But is it a responsibility? Or simply a person realizes someone else’s responsibility, in forms acceptable to him. The mechanism of rationalization of other people’s desires and fantasies is so strong in our subconscious that even often our dream is not our own, but someone else’s.
\nThe inability to take responsibility for one’s life is rooted in early childhood. When mom comes and says look what kind of car I bought you, really beautiful, by this she interferes with the formation of the child’s ability to make decisions. Ideally, you need to take the child to the store for a long time to wait for which typewriter the child himself prefers, painfully and qualitatively explain why that typewriter is suitable or not suitable, indicating not the price, quality, material, or simply that it will not fit into the garage. And wait for the child to take responsibility for his own choice. Then, in adulthood, it is much easier for a person to take responsibility for himself. And the formula \u201cI was told, I did it – and whoever said it is to blame\u201d will not be an excuse for a person to be irresponsible. Achievements, and work for the sake of someone else’s success, for the sake of someone else’s self-realization, for the sake of someone else’s dream, sooner or later gives, awareness of a sense of self-dissatisfaction. And the task of a psychologist who is engaged in self-management is to direct that client to his activities to realize himself and his desires.
\nIf such situations when a person realizes \u201csomeone else’s responsibility\u201d occur systematically and regularly, then it is possible for personal self-management to simply pick up \u201cpersonal responsibility\u201d. Which is easy to put into the scheme “I want – I do – I’m responsible for the result.” Nobody says that it cannot be formed. Everything is possible!
\nOf course, here there is a second no less important factor that interferes with self-realization – fear. What if I don\u2019t succeed, what if something goes wrong? Every person asks these questions. How long? If so, then the whole life will turn into a struggle between fear and torment from questions. After all, doubt kills any action.
\nBut let’s remember that Viagra was also developed as a heart medicine. And most of the great discoveries happened by accident and not according to plan. If you stop being afraid, then the result will not be long in coming. Human fear is a necessary reaction when you jump with a parachute, but for self-development it is clearly an extra component.
\nTry to imagine the situation: you are going to the forest for mushrooms, clearly studied the plan of the forest, made a step-by-step route, promised yourself not to deviate from the route, found your \u201cmushroom\u201d knife, and went to the forest. But here, oh, trouble, for some reason mushrooms do not grow along your route. Is it necessary to spend time analyzing the reasons or is it better to change the route by taking two steps to the side. The main thing is to overcome the fear of novelty and the fear of failure! After all, courage takes cities. As the saying goes, the wolf is afraid not to go into the forest – and the goal is not to be afraid of reaching it. Fear paralyzes activity. And this is a completely understandable psycho-physiological mechanism, which has ancient roots of the instinct of self-preservation. But it is irrational, in a situation of self-development and self-organization.
\nThe self-management system helps to determine the cause of the psychological brake that provokes personal slippage. Provides an opportunity to identify client-oriented methods aimed at reducing the level of fear and insecurity. Find stimulating and inspiring formulas for self-understanding and development. And we remember what the ancient Greek philosopher Skylef said: the inhabitants consider bold plans to be fairy tales, and the winners turn fairy tales into reality.
\nNazarevich Victoria<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"