Increasingly, at consultations, you can meet children who bring their parents to a psychologist. And we hear the phrases: \u201cWill you tell your mother?\u201d, \u201cLet your mother hear it\u201d, \u201cTell your mother how to do it right\u201d and similar realities of our time. It looks like something strange – as if an adult cannot cope, and a child is constantly trying to help him: live, make choices, take responsibility, realize dreams and much more. <\/p>\n
Or another popular option, let’s call it “a specialist already in childhood.” A child from the age of 8 is preparing to become a professional in his field. I have already seen stories that a second grader goes to a programming teacher and has three subspecialty teachers. And when you ask him “what do you like to do?”, he says: “dance or …”.<\/p>\n
Is it necessary to do it still in childhood? I don’t know, I guess time will tell. At the same time, it often seems that in the general hustle and bustle of life, we do not notice how we are stealing childhood from children. Previously completely carefree period becomes very difficult and responsible. Often, out of fear of missing something, parents reinsure themselves to literally everyone. And this fear settles in different psychological forms and manifestations in children.<\/p>\n
And then a completely wonderful child comes to a psychologist: with logoneurosis from constant fear of saying something wrong or wrong; convulsive syndrome from the constant fear of being late or not in time, with chronic inflammatory diseases from hidden anger at oneself, which cannot receive positive approval from loved ones. I will not continue the list of diseases, because it is not in it. And the fact that the child has no place left to know the world and himself, to feel and breathe free inaction, just walk and think, play and play pranks, run and indulge, rejoice and laugh.<\/p>\n
More and more you can meet children who are tired of life as early as 10 years old. Busy in circles and tutors, living in even tighter limits than adults, sleeping in cars on the way home and constantly busy with important things.<\/p>\n
This is probably a tribute to the times. Perhaps that is correct. But why are there so many sick children, where the diseases of the body are reflections of the pain of the soul? And this hurts!<\/p>\n
– It hurts when a child does not have positive memories of joint games with parents;<\/p>\n
– It hurts when the wishes of the child are paid attention only when he is sick;<\/p>\n
– It hurts when a child does not have time to just draw for the soul, and not for school projects;<\/p>\n
– It hurts when a child goes to a section for years where he feels bad, and is afraid to talk about it;<\/p>\n
– It hurts when a child is forced to make a choice for which he is not yet ready by age, only to relieve himself of responsibility;<\/p>\n
– It hurts when a child does not know children’s songs and fairy tales, games and others.<\/p>\n
Maybe we\u2019ll try to teach in childhood not skills, but personality traits that will be much more useful than already outdated knowledge by that time, because life is changing terribly fast. Let’s try to accumulate impressions with the children, and not useless facts, since we already have all the facts and events in everyone’s phone. To develop not mechanical memorization, but imagination and creativity, which will certainly be more appreciated. And also the ability to appreciate your ideas and reflections, teaching you to explore life. And to give trial and error, no matter how scared and insecure the parents are.<\/p>\n
These are just reflections after a series of consultations, which already very clearly show that we have something wrong with the childhood of our children.<\/p>\n
Victoria Nazarevich 2019 \u00a9<\/p>\n
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